Title: First Base
Author: Lady D
Category: Humor, Gen, Friendship
Rating: PG 
Author’s Notes: Inspired by Sallye.
 
Warnings:
A
R
N
I
N
G
S
P
A
C
E

Despite the first paragraph, this is actually funny.  Trust me.

 

First Base

 

Jack watched Carter and Daniel die tonight.  How would he ever get over it?  What did Teal'c think of him now?  Could he fix this?  He wasn't sure.  Maybe he'd be able to think clearer in the morning…

~~~

Earlier in the evening

Jack popped open three more beers and headed back to the living room. 

After returning from a harrowing planet trip, only this time everyone, including Daniel had come out unscathed, he'd announced that this deserved a celebration.  Jack had invited everyone to his place. 

One of his favorite Simpson episodes was starting.  Daniel was milking his second beer.  He'd have to fix that.  He handed Daniel a third one and told him to drink up.  Daniel gave him the eyeball but then shrugged and tried to hurry down the other one he had.  Sam was ready for the next so her hand was outstretched waiting for it.  Teal'c was on the floor.  Since he didn't drink he had selected the best pillows in the room and was now sitting comfortably on five of them facing the TV. 

During a commercial break, Teal'c had inquired to his friends about what "getting to first base" meant, since based on the Simpson episode, it did not appear to be associated with a game he had read about called baseball, as he had first assumed.

The room was suddenly silent and Jack noted no one would meet Teal'c eyes and kept hinting for Teal'c to ask someone else. 

Everyone was hesitant to explain it, except a confident if not more inebriated Colonel. 

Jack began by trying to explain baseball and that 'making it to first base' didn't mean 'making it to first base,'  but meant 'getting to first base' and then tried to explain that's not quite what it meant either. 

Daniel watched, trying to keep the smirk off his face as Jack then tried to explain what 'getting a home run' in baseball meant and then trying to explain how it related to dating.

Sam couldn't keep it in.  She fell back on the floor in bouts of giggles as the Colonel tried to tactfully explain ‘it was a great thing to get a home run in baseball and also in... uh, dating.' 

When Sam lost it, Daniel was right after her.  Jack looked at his two teammates stuck in giggling fits on his carpet.  Daniel appeared to be competing with Sam for who could chuckle the loudest and both were turning multiple shades of red trying to laugh while also gasping for breath. 

Jack tried hard to ignore them as he continued to try to explain about batters and umpires, and hitting and running the bases, and how scoring was done but it was hopeless when Teal'c asked, 'what they had to do with dating?' 

Jack thought he stumbled on the perfect solution when he suggested that maybe it was better if he just showed Teal'c.    The sobriety of the evening was all but lost when Teal'c responded that 'it would be unwise for him to attempt a kiss.'

That's when he watched his team die…  

…of fits uncontrollable laughter.  Well most of his team.  Teal'c kept giving him a suspicious scowl through the night which did nothing to stop the science twins bouts as they found themselves rolling on his floor until both passed out shortly thereafter.  Daniel dropping off first. 

Jack gave up and just drank more.   Promising to soak the nights discussion thoroughly in alcohol and try again with Teal'c at another time.  Somewhere away from his two hecklers.

END

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