Author: Lady D
Category/Rating:  G/ Gen, Humor
Challenge: Christmas Challenge – Day 2
Summary:  Jack swears it was the Grinch.  What does Daniel know that Jack doesn't and how is Teal'c involved?



Grinch Who Dunnit


"Telling ya, Daniel.  It was!"

"No way."

"Green… Grinch.  I swear!"


"Look, so it's farfetched.  It makes perfect sense.  Hard to believe it myself, but look at the evidence.  Four cakes on that table—gone!  Where'd they go?   I'll tell ya… Grinch."

Daniel rolled his eyes at Jack, who was flapping his arms around pointing at things he considered 'evidence of Grinch activity'.


An hour earlier…

Daniel felt a tap on his shoulder.  He would have smiled, as Teal'c looked kinda cute with the melted chocolate around his lips and the donned Santa cap, if not for the very somber-face that he saw. 

"DanielJackson, I have been dishonorable and am very disturbed by it.  Yet, I could do nothing to prevent it."

"Teal'c, hold up.  What are you talking about?  We're at Jack's, enjoying ourselves, eating, drinking, decorating, and listening to music.  How have you been dishonorable?"

"There is a weakness I was not aware of before now.   I found it impossible to deny it and I'm ashamed to say that I gave in to it… willingly."  Teal'c pointed at the table in the hallway.

"Why are you pointing at the desert table?  There's only cakes in there."

"There were."

"Were?  Teal'c, you ate FOUR cakes?"

"I regret that I did."  Teal'c sighed.  "I believe I am suffering for what is called the sugared fang." 

"Sugared fang?"  Daniel scratched his head, then looked at the absence of desserts on the table.  Sugared fang?  Four cakes, fer cryin' outloud… FOUR!  What would compel Teal'c or anybody to do that?  Then it hit him.  "Oh!  Sugared fang… sweet tooth!  You had a craving for something sweet."

"Have a craving."  Teal'c popped a piece of fudge in his mouth.

Daniel pondered where the fudge came from, however, with the shock he got from Teal'c's next words, all thoughts of possible fudge sources left him.

"I am truly sorry for my actions, DanielJackson.  I can only describe the sensation I felt as something powerful taking over.  Never have I come across a more formidable foe.  It was defeating me, however, I must confess that I also enjoyed it.  Strange foe."

"I- I can see how you might see it like that.  So, now you just need me to help you explain this to Jack?"

Teal'c frowned.

"You mean, there's more?"

Teal'c pointed toward the kitchen.



"Two pies, Daniel, in the kitchen.  Two whole pies— gone!  Where?  Grinch dunnit!"

Daniel groaned.


45 minutes earlier…


"The two pies, too, Teal'c?  I don’t think I know you."

"I share that opinion.  Once this sweet tooth began, I lost all control of my willpower.  I have never experienced such a thing in my life."

"So you said."  Daniel shuddered.  "One hundred plus years is a long time to suppress a sweet tooth that strong.   I'm a little scared to ask… was there anymore?" 

Teal'c pointed into the den. 

"Oh, no, you're kidding?  Really?"



"And the stockings over the fireplace— they're gone too!   It’s a blatant attempt at sabotage.  No other answer possible.  We've been hit by the Grinch."

"Jack, enough with the Grinch, already."


30 minutes earlier…

"The stockings… why?"   Daniel lifted his arms in the air, confused.  "And where ARE they?"

Teal'c looked down and sighed again.  "The cloth got in the way.  Unfortunately, it had to be sacrificed… there were cookies inside."  Daniel watched, perplexed, as Teal'c guiltily confessed yet popped another piece of fudge in his mouth.

Daniel dropped his hands on top of his head.  "Oy!"

"I regret," Teal'c said with a mouthful of fudge, "there was one more thing."  He  turned to the tree.

"Oh Teal'c, you didn't?"

"I did." 



"MY present, Daniel.  No one else's gift was touched.  Just mine.  Wrapper strewn in bits everywhere— no present anywhere.  Where'd it go?"

Please don't say it.




15 minutes earlier…

"Why just Jack's gift?"

"It was a box of fudge that I was giving to O'Neill.  It was delicious.  I am ashamed.  DanielJackson, I am suddenly feeling quite ill."

"I don’t doubt it."  Then Daniel took in the pallor of his friend's face.  "Hey!  You ARE turning a bit green.... actually, a lot green.  Teal'c maybe you should step outside and get some air."

"A wise suggestion.  What of my actions… my sweet tooth?  How will I explain this to O'Neill?" 

"Knowing Jack, he'll come up with his own conclusions.  You… outside!  I'll come get you in a few."

"I am very disappointed in myself for this weakness."

"Yeah well, I'm just glad no one was between you and a chocolate bar tonight.  'Lips are sealed, Teal'c.  Go."

Teal'c bowed.  Then, abruptly bee-lined it for the front door with a hand over his mouth.  Daniel winced, contemplating whether he should follow, just in case things got worse.  He watched as Teal'c's rather green blur passed by a window just as Jack came around the corner, also catching the motion out the window.

"D'you see that?”  Jack asked startled as he pointed out the window.  “It was moving fast and… sorta green, actually a lot green.  Swear it kinda looked like the Gr—  Nah, that'd be impossible.  Forget it.  Hey, let's grab some cake.  Um… where are they?"

Oh boy, this is gonna be a long night, thought Daniel.



"Jack this is getting old.  There is no such thing as the Grinch, but if it makes you feel better then… fine it WAS the Grinch.

"Knew you'd agree with me." 

"Only so you'd shut up about it!  Look, I'll take Teal'c and go get some more cakes, and stuff… actually, on second thought, Teal'c in a place like that is probably not a good idea, right now."

"Waddya mean by that?"

"Oh, um… nothing."

"Why am I getting the feeling you know something I don't?"

Daniel shrugged.  If you only knew.  "I… need to go check on something."

"Where ya going?"

"Uhhhhh… Grinch hunting."  Coat in hand, Daniel darted out the door.

"Oh, ho ho ho.  You're a riot, Daniel."

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