Snake Thwacking… "Yo!  Snakes!"

Author: Lady D
Written: 11-11-2008
Word count: 704
Challenge: UNUSUAL PROBLEM-SOLVING CHALLENGE - The team or a member of the team has to come up with an unusual way to solve a problem.  (It can not use their normally carried weapons or field/base equipment and Daniel can’t use his ability to talk his way out of something.)  
Season/ Ep: None
Spoilers: None
Category; Gen, Humor
Rating: G
Summary: Jack's secret-weapon. 
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Sci Fi Channel, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions.  No copyright infringement whatsoever is intended. The story is for entertainment purposes only. The original characters, situations and story are mine. Please check with me first if you want to archive or link to this story.



Snake Thwacking… "Yo!  Snakes!"


The ground settled… finally.

Daniel peered down.  "Jack?  S'that you in there?"

"Yes Daniel, who else would it be?"

"You alright?"

"I will be when you get me out of this hole."

"Sam and Teal'c are coming"


Daniel swung to look toward the source of the sound in the hole.  "What… was that?"

"I'd rather not find out."

"Sounded like hissing."

"Yeah…thought so too." 

Daniel stretched his arms down.  "Can't reach you."

"Hence, the need for a rope."

Hssssssss! Hsssssss!

"No rope—gear's lost, so's my gun and…that doesn’t sound good." 

"Ya think?"

"Looks like something's moving back there."

"So it does." 

"What can I do to help?" 

"Da-aaaniel, I'm stuck in a hole filled with dirt up to and in my bellybutton.  Would you please focus and find some way to get me outta here."

"What about those hissing things?"

"I'll handle the hissy-things, you—get me out!"

"Your guns buried...  knife!  Jack, your knife!

"You mean the one… strapped to my ankle?"

"Oh yeah… that won’t work."




"Find something to get me out, now!"

"Right… I'll be back.  Yell if you need me.  I'll try to find a rock or stick or something… actually, I don't see anything."

Hsssssssss!  Hsssssssss! Hsssssssss!

"Da-aaniel, Go!"

Looking back up, Jack was relieved to see that Daniel had finally followed orders.  Happens every so often.

Jack peered into the dusty cavern of the newly formed hole—five slithering somethings were heading his way.

Not good.  Can't dig out my gun or knife and—great, even my clothes won't budge in this stuff so no swatting the hissy-things with it.  Arm smacking?  That's out.  Maybe tossing dirt?

Okay, dirt bad… seemed to just piss them off more.

Jack looked up.  Where was Daniel all ready?  Twisting to try to loosen the gripping dirt, he felt something in his breast pocket and pulled it out.

Hmmm… why not? Nothing to loose.

 Load, launch... SNAP! THWACK!

A snake went sailing backward.

"On the nose!"

'Least I think it was a nose.  Do snakes have noses?  Have to ask Daniel 'bout that.

Hsssssss!  Hsssssssss!  Hsssssssss!




Snakes went flying everywhere.

"Yes!  This is sorta fun… sorta." 



"He shoots, he scores!"

He froze when something thick and long dropped onto his shoulder—then sighed in relief when he found is was a vine.

Jack heard an "oof" and some panting, then saw a hand above, followed by Daniel's dirt-smeared face.  "Found… something... think it'll work."  Daniel took in a huge gulp of air.  "…’was far away… wasn't sure… vine would reach… barely does.  Grab it and I'll pull you out."

Inch by slow inch, Jack began to lift.  The hissing was too close.  "Daniel, hurry it up… company's coming!"

After another five minutes, a few more THWACKS! and finally some snake-kicking, Jack was out of the hole.

Completely exhausted, Daniel crawled over to Jack and collapsed on his back next to him…joining Jack's heaving.

Finally, breathing under control, Jack got up and patted off the dirt.

"Hey— [cough] Ah-achoo!" 

"Thanks for getting me outta that hole."

"'Welcome… I think."  Daniel said rubbing the itch from his nose.

Hsssssss! Hssssss! Hssssss!

"Ever figure out what that noise was?"

"Yep."  Jack walked away.  "'Think we've worn out our welcome here, let’s pack it up, join the rest, and head home."

Daniel nodded, getting to his feet.

Hsssssssss! Hsssssss! Hssssssss! Hssssssss!

Curious, Daniel glanced back in the hole.  Seeing mostly shadow, he leaned in further.  Something struck out toward him.  He jerked falling backward.

"S-S-Snakes.  Lotsa snakes in there, Jack!"  Daniel shuddered.

"Yeah, Daniel… I know."

"But how did you keep them from… I mean you didn’t have anything like a knife or gun or rock or—"

"Actually, it was a snap.  Or rather it's all in the snap."  Jack replied over his shoulder.

Daniel scratched his head, scanning the area for a weapon, a stick, a rock, a mud clump, anything.  "Wait… what'd you just say?"

"Daniel, let's go."   Reaching into his breast pocket, Jack pulled out his snake-thwacking weapon.  Smirking, he wrapped the trigger around a finger, and let fly then snapped it back.  "Always good to have a yo-yo."




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