Space, Corn And War Games
by The Medicated Sheep

Pairing: J/D
Summary: A domestic situation that could happen in any relationship...
Info:  Thanks to KJ and to Shazzz for the beta!
Rating: Adult language and intimate scenes


Jack liked to play games. Particularly when he won. More especially when winning meant he got to choose the night's activity in bed later. Daniel had been staring at the chess board for what seemed hours and Jack was missing the attention. Descending the steps into the living room with beer in hand, Jack approached the end of the couch where Daniel was sitting.

"Shove over."

"What's the matter with your end of the couch?"

Jack assumed the air of someone trying to conceal something, looking not in the least bit innocent. The look he was actually going for.

"Nothin'...Just wanna sit closer to you"

Daniel eyed him over his glasses.

Jack relented "okay, okay. I'm trying to help you with your personal space issues". Daniel briefly closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly in confusion.

"And you think squishing me against the arm of the couch is the way to go? And...wait a minute. Personal space issues!?"

Jack gave up on the pretence. "There's corn on the cushions."

Daniel did a double take, "Corn? As in 'corn on the cob' corn?"

"Noooo, not 'corn on the cob' corn", Jack air quoted. "Pop! Pop corn."

Sitting himself down and nudging Daniel closer to the arm of the couch, Jack wriggled away from the offending detritus.

"Have you TRIED removing it?" Daniel asked in his most exasperated tone.

Jack looked at his lover as if he'd just been asked fuck Carter.

"Eww, Daniel!!! I'm not sweeping them to the floor! This isn't a Texas Roadhouse you know!"

Daniel sat forward and turned to Jack. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Texas Roadhouse?"

Daniel Shrugged, looking none the wiser.

"You know. Where they have the peanut shells on the floor." Jack rolled his hand as if that helped the explanation.

Daniel shook that vision out of his consciousness.

"Jack, just get out the Animal!"

Not one to miss an opportunity, Jack launched himself at Daniel, tumbling them both to the floor, taking his partners face in both hands and kissed him with all the finesse of a grizzly bear. Daniel pushed at Jack with both hands,

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You're acting like a bitch in heat, fercryinoutloud!"

Sitting back on his heels, not easy for a man with his knees, Jack looked stunned. " said get out the animal."

Looking completely befuddled now, Daniel thought about what Jack has said, thought about it some more and formed an idea. But, in the mean time, there was the corn problem.

"Jack, I meant the hand held vacuum cleaner. The Animal?" Jack looked at Daniel glassy eyed. The younger man was trying to decide if it was because he's uttered the words 'Jack' and 'Vacuum' in the same sentence or because he was still trying to work out why Daniel had spurned his advances.

Daniel sighed, rolled his eyes and left the room. Jack did not take his eyes of that truly delectable butt until it had disappeared from view. Ten seconds later, the owner of said butt returned with a Dyson hand held vacuum cleaner in his hand. Standing at the base of the steps, one hand on his hip, he held the cleaner out to Jack.

Jack took in the stance of his lover. The determined set of his lovers kissable mouth; the intensity of the blue eyes boring into him; hips thrust slightly forward invitingly and those elegant, long fingered hands, one on a slim hip, the other holding the aforementioned 'animal' and his mouth went dry all thoughts of domesticity went out the window.

Striding forward, Jack took the cleaner, threw it on the couch behind him, grabbed Daniel's hand and dragged him up the stairs.

"whoa...what are...Jack" Daniel sputtered as they headed toward the bedroom.

Jack turned briefly to his one and only and smirked.

As they entered the bedroom, Jack shut the door with one foot, steered Daniel to the bed. Getting with the program, Daniel grabbed Jack's groin with his free hand. "To hell with space, corn and games...this means war!"

And so it begins.



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  Hawk50 Nancy Bailey Carrie AnnO  
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Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. This is a parody for entertainment purposes only. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted anywhere without the consent of the author.