The Bizarre Effects or Radiation Poisoning

"We'll just be over here." Jack said, pointing at the crystal skull uneasily, as if it was a dog that might bite. Carter joined him on his right, like him unable to drag her full attention away from the painful scene going on behind.

Sam felt like a voyeur. She thanked the stars that at least Colonel O'Neill hadn't been his usual tactless self and had excused them both. Looking around the cave she couldn't possibly imagine how Nickolas Ballard was going live in such an environment. The cave was barren.

"This is not going to be pleasant is it?" Jack perked up, trying to break the uncomfortable silence that had descended when Nick decided he'd found somewhere much more worth while to be. The man hasn't seen his grandson in over four years and is already wanting out? Jack didn't get it.

"No, I don't think it is, sir." Sam whispered back, her blood running as cold as the cavern looked. She shivered, her body almost convulsing at the sheer effort to keep her mixed anger and pity at bay. Her thoughts seemed to echo around the gigantic empty cavern, the emptiness a refection of what must be left of Nick's sense of right and wrong.

They shared a look, and they both knew neither of them had been referring to the regeneration process.

By the time Daniel rejoined them Jack couldn't get Daniel's voice saying 'you've only just come back into my life' out of his head. It was on repeat. Over and over Jack could hear the disappointment and desperation in Daniel's voice, issuing his plea for Nick not to stay. The old man didn't get it. He clearly didn't know Daniel at all, surprising since they quite obviously shared the same traits. Unfortunately, had the roles been reversed he doubted Daniel could have resisted such an opportunity. Of course in that instance Jack would have stepped in, stated that it would happen over his dead body and that would've have been that.

Sam did the right thing and asked Daniel if he was okay. Daniel didn't say much in return, but he took one last look over his shoulder before nodding. Jack took a sneak peek too and upon seeing that Nick had already been whisked away, leaving nothing but mist, he gripped Daniel's arm, giving a supportive squeeze.

Together they walked up the few steps to stand in front of the alien skull, with Daniel maintaining his quietude Sam indicated they should all look into the crystal. Energy swam around them, lights flashed and just as suddenly as they had disappeared from their dimension, they reappeared. There was no swirling mist and, most notably of all, no strong radiation showing on Carters gizmo. Jack, Sam and Daniel where the only ones sharing the cavern this side of the dimension.

"That it?" Jack asked looking around as if he was expecting more of a show.

"I believe so, sir." Sam double checked and confirmed there was no harmful radiation being emitted.

"It's good to be real, again." Examining the grim faces Daniel was quick to comment. "What, you're not glad to see me...?"

Jack glared then good-naturedly groused, "Daniel, so help me, I'm going to kick your butt into next week."

He'd known this was coming, Daniel had just been hoping Jack would hold out till they got home to explode. "It was an accident." He reiterated calmly, shrugging and turning to walk away.

"Yeah it was and it was your fault. Touching things. How many times I have I told you DON'T TOUCH?" Jack's tone was biting and Daniel wondered why the hell it almost always seemed to be him on the receiving end.

"I didn't touch anything, Jack." Daniel said, not half as smug about it as he believed he should be. He just wasn't in the mood.

Seeing the logic in that, for once, Daniel had just looked and not touched, Jack was quick to redirect the conversation. "Do you know how worried we've been?"

Sam didn't like where this was going, and she hastened to stop them before someone said
something they'd regret later. Meaning she wanted to prevent the Colonel from making a complete ass of himself and hurting Daniel in the process. "Sir-"

"Actually, yes I've been stuck to you like glue for the past two days!" Daniel replied haughtily.

"Daniel-" Sam tried again, this time appealing to the calmer half of the pair not to entice the Colonel further.

"Well then, you should know very well the kind of mood I'm likely to be in right now." Jack threw back.

"SIR!" Carter all but screamed, after being shot down twice she wasn't going to stand for it a third time.

"Sorry Sam." Daniel was the only one to apologise, Jack just looked contrite.

"Daniel, we're all glad you're alright. Sir," she diverted her attention, "we should head back - the neutrino time limit still applies." Sam reminded them, sending Jack a scolding look at the same time. Daniel had just said goodbye to his only living relative after years of estrangement, the least the Colonel could do was hold off on the attitude until Daniel had had a chance to come to terms.

"Fine lets go," Jack huffed out, "and Daniel?" He waited until Daniel stopped examining the floor with looks of contempt before continuing. "Can you try not to fuss with anything on our way out?"

The man always had to have the last word, Sam would kick him in the shin right now if it wasn't for the fact she believed a commanding officer deserved respect, no matter how much of an ass he was being at the moment.

Daniel shuffled from foot to foot unsure if he had the nerve to voice the request currently running through his head. "Um, actually," he decided what the hell Jack was going to yell at him anyway, right? "I was going to ask if I could take a look at the skull."

Jack paused a beat, feeling extremely proud for the level of control he was exerting right now, and uttered a calm resounding, "No."

"But Jack I never got a chance to really study it."

"I said no Daniel. That means no discussion, no appeals, no arm twisting and definitely no
pouting." Jack added snatching a glance at Daniel as he walked by.

Sam laughed, Daniel dug his own grave half the time, and she couldn't help but see the humour in it. She opened her mouth to comment, but stopped when Daniel overtook them both without a word or acknowledgement. Sam sent another glare Jack's way who returned her look back before jogging to catch up with Daniel.

They'd made it all the way across the path before Jack decided to break the ice and make nice. "Hey Daniel, wait up you trying to ditch us?" Jack joked.

Daniel didn't answer and Jack reached out and grabbed his arm turning him around. "Hey." He said more seriously.

Daniel jumped as soon as he felt the grasp and spun around falling backward. "Whoa!" He gasped.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jack's bad mood had taken a side seat for the moment.

"Sorry, it feels weird." Daniel wobbled a little, panting slightly as if from over exertion, his hand reaching out blindly for something to steady him.

"Sensory deception." Sam supplied, both men looked at her blankly. "It's reasonable to conclude that being out of contact from anything for the past forty-eight hours would have some side effects"

"That bad?" Jack asked, Daniel had practically screamed when he'd touched him, as if his hand had burnt him right through to the skin.

"I don't feel so good." Daniel complained rather pathetically, blinking rapidly in a misguided effort to dispel the white spots floating before his eyes.

Jack made a sympathetic face at Daniel's distress, which quickly altered to one of surprise when Daniel's eyes rolled back and he fell forward. Jack reacted immediately and caught him before he could say howdy-do to the ground. In imitation of their last trip Jack hefted Daniel over his shoulder, one look at Carter had her sprinting ahead preparing to dial home and alert SGC of incoming wounded.
*

"Low blood sugar." Fraiser announced empathically, walking around the bed, grabbing Daniel's chart as she passed.

Jack stared at Daniel, unconscious, with wires running down underneath the front of his hospital gown and up his nose. "That's all?"

"That's enough don't you think?"

"You know what I meant. He's not got radiation sickness or anything?"

"Nope, his levels are equal to yours and Major Carter's. He just hasn't eaten in a few days."

"But-?"

"Ah! Before you start I haven't a clue, Daniel is my first invisible patient so I don't have a frame of reference. All I know is he is dehydrated and hasn't slept, ate or drank, for over two days."

"I take it you're..."

"He is staying in here for as long as I can keep him, Colonel."

"Excellent." Jack patted Daniel's arm. "Well I think I'll head home. I'll be seeing all of you
tomorrow." Jack walked backwards out of the infirmary, giving a little wave before he disappeared out the door.

"Night Sir." Janet smiled at the empty doorway before turning back to the chart in her hand.

*

Five minutes, five minutes till her shift was over and she'd be out that door. With another night shift behind her Janet began to pack up all the charts and files she'd painstakingly been shifting through and signing off on. Daniel had been her only overnight patient, and the good news was she felt she'd seen enough improvement in his condition to allow him home today. He started off restless at the beginning of the night after coming around from his little fainting spell, but Janet had quickly been able to solve that problem.

"Teal'c?" Janet took a step back when she looked up and realised she'd nearly walked head on into him. "I didn't realise anyone else was here." Janet looked over at Daniel. "He isn't going to wake up for a while. I gave him a sleeping pill last night - knocked him out pretty good."

Teal'c looked over her shoulder at Daniel Jackson still very much asleep, and then spoke quietly, "Major Carter informed me Nicholas Ballard chose to remain on the planet."

Janet was puzzled what that had to do with the price of tea in china.

"I do not understand this man."

Maybe it was because she had worked the night with very little rest, maybe it was because she'd read so many files her brain wasn't up to independent thought, or maybe Teal'c was just being his usual cryptic self. "I'm not sure I follow."

"O'Neill once told me Daniel Jackson did not have any family. That as a child he was looked after by others who were paid to do so."

"You're talking about Foster Care." And you want to know why, if he had a grandfather, did Daniel go into the system? A question she was sure everyone close to Daniel was asking right now.

"I am concerned Nicolas Ballard's choice to stay behind will cause Daniel Jackson pain. I do not wish for him to be alone if this is the case."

"That's nice." Janet smiled, feeling a little teary eyed at the thought of Daniel being rejected by his own grandfather. Even though she didn't know the whole story, Janet could feel a small bit of anger build inside her at the injustice.

"It is not a completely selfless act Dr Fraiser. I am looking for my own absolution as well." Teal'c redirected his gaze, looking her dead in the eye.

"For what?"

"I too am responsible for abandoning my family."

Janet had to concede the truth of that statement, and much like with Nicolas Ballard's search for the crystal skull costing him his grandson, Teal'c's quest for freedom had much the same consequences.

"My son does not truly understand why I have chosen this life over him. I concluded Daniel Jackson would bare similar feelings regarding his grandfather."

Janet stood still, stunned for a moment. "Teal'c, has anyone told you, you would make a great counsellor."

"They have not."

"Well they should have, and I'll leave you to it, I know Daniel's in good hands." She smiled, heading over to her office to complete her final task of handing over to Dr Warner for the day shift.

"I never truly appreciated how hard it was for you to walk away from your family like that." Daniel rubbed at his eyes, trying to focus more clearly on Teal'c.

Teal'c walked over to stand next to Daniel's infirmary bed.

"Daniel Jackson. I had believed you to be asleep." Teal'c turned to face him.

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Just walk away."

"It was difficult. However, if the Jaffa are ever to be free sacrifices will have to be made."

"The greater good?"

"I did not willing choose to leave my family Daniel Jackson, though upon meeting you and Colonel O'Neill I believed for the first time there was a race capable of standing against the Goa'uld, I could not let you die. I made a choice."

"Do you ever regret it?"

"Not a day goes by when I don't think of my Son, but I am pleased to know that he and my wife are safe and well cared for."

Daniel looked solemn and Teal'c believed he understood what Daniel was asking him.

"You want to know if Nicholas Ballard felt regret for doing what he believed had to be done."

Daniel huffed out a small laugh. "Yeah, I don't know about that. He didn't hate me or anything, just didn't have the time. Archaeologist - lots of travelling, bad hours, digs aren't usually in good school districts."

"Were your parents not archaeologists also?"

"Oh yeah" Daniel smiled and laughed again. "Never saw much of them either."

"I do not understand. On Chulak it is the woman's responsibility to keep the family home and look after the children. Family is a warrior's greatest asset."

"Yeah, well," Daniel said tightly, "as you've probably guessed things aren't quite the same here."

"This is common among the Tau'ri?" Teal'c sat in the vacant chair, he had learnt much about Earth customs and life in general in the three years since his defection from Apophis, but grey areas like this one did pop up occasionally.

"Well I don't know about common, there are a lot of parents out there that would rather be at home with their kids than working. Ask Jack - actually don't ask Jack." Daniel took that back, feeling foolish for saying it.

"Why not?"

"Well I'm sure a lot of Jack's guilt over Charlie," Daniel swallowed; he'd started so he'd finish but was going to murder Janet for drugging him to the point where his brain wasn't fully connecting with his mouth. In this case the mouth wasn't receiving the brains message to shut the hell up! "- has to do with him working away for the Air Force when he would have rather been at home."

"A warrior's sacrifice" Teal'c understood, he and O'Neill shared much common ground, and thus a shared understanding of how sacrifices, though painful are sometimes necessary.

"I guess, and I can appreciate that, but at the end of the day Jack was a great Dad. He wanted to be there." Nope, Daniel just was not going to listen to himself today, and carried right on spilling about stuff he'd kept pretty much under wraps for the past ten years. "My parents, although wonderful as they were, would choose a dig over me in a heartbeat. Nick was the same, his work came first, and that's why Nick choosing to stay behind isn't that much of a shocker. He'll come back when he's done, whether I'll be waiting or not is a different matter."

While Teal'c considered his reply Jack edged away from the infirmary doors as quietly as possible. He never had grasped why Daniel, as bright and brilliant and sweet as he was, never seemed to have the self-esteem to match the rest of him. His confidence came and went, but Jack put that down to flakiness, not childhood neglect. Daniel had always been different, a little slow when it came to using his common sense, naïve to the hilt - okay, maybe it did all make a twisted sort of sense.

*

Jack and Daniel made their way to Jack's car in the pouring rain.

Once inside the moving vehicle and a good two-mile outside the mountains check points Jack started up the conversation he'd wanted to have since Daniel got back.

"So how you doing, really?"

"Well my back's killing me, but aside from that and the dizziness I'll survive."

"Cut the crap Daniel, you know what I meant." Jack said lightly.

"Nick." Daniel said the name with dread.

"Ah yes, Nick." Jack spoke as if it had never crossed his mind in a million years.

"You're mad I never mentioned him before aren't you?" Daniel cringed as he said it, knowing he should have mentioned he had a living relative a long time ago, like when he joined the SGC and had to fill in all those details about his family.

"I wouldn't say mad exactly. Although I think the General was a bit surprised we knew nothing about him. Me, I'm more curious. Why the big secret?" Jack kept his tone playful, but Daniel could see right through him and he was definitely mad, Daniel was just grateful to Jack for not showing it.

"So what happened?" Jack pushed for the real information he wanted when Daniel didn't speak.

"Oh long, long story."

"I think we have the time Daniel." Jack said, having to slow his speed because the rain was coming down much heavier now.

"Okay I lied, it's a short story. I just don't want to tell it." Daniel blurted.

"Daniel I promise I won't make a big deal out of it, and if you don't want to tell me that's fine, but I was just curious why, if you had a grandfather, your file is missing over ten years of your life because your foster care records are sealed."

"Jack I don't see what...hold on, that's in my SGC file? I never mentioned..."

"Daniel do you really think the Air Force wouldn't have done a full back ground check before they let you in on our nation's biggest secret?"

"So you knew about my parents before that whole thing with the gamekeeper?"

"Not everything. Knew you were the son of two well establish archaeologists who died in a museum accident in 1974. It didn't elaborate on the how by the way, so I had absolutely no clue you, age eight, was present to witness it." Jack smiled wanly; hoping that little bit of information didn't downplay the words he'd spoken after it had happened. "I know you were put into foster care, but was never adopted."

Jack saw Daniel was blushing, ducking his head, so he swiftly moved the conversation forward. "Anyway, no where did it mention a maternal grandfather."

"You're mad at me." Daniel said bluntly in reaction to Jack's tone.

"Daniel, I'm not mad."

"Are."

"Not."

"Are t-"

"Daniel!"

"Okay, okay...I never mentioned him because when I told Nick my theory about the pyramids, he said it was ridiculous and I should keep my mouth shut."

"And we all know how good you are at that now don't we?"

Daniel ignored the jibe and continued. "He said if I did go public and ruin my career then he never wanted to see me again." Daniel paused a beat, his tone a little more wistful. "I guess I wouldn't have stayed away forever, but when Catherine picked me up off the street and introduced me to the Stargate, then spending that year on Abydos, I figured Nick would have thought I'd topped myself by now or gotten committed and written me off, so... why worry?"

"And just to clarify, I'm not mad, but why didn't you ever mention him to me before?"

"I didn't plan on Nick being a part of my life anymore. If I'm honest he never really was, at least not in the true sense of the word, I was never that important to him."

"He really was proud of you Daniel."

"I know. Now." Nick and Jack exchanging stories about him was just awful, the only way he could have been more embarrassed would be if they could have seen his face.

"Of course, you were probably right there. Did you follow us everywhere or what?"

"What else was I supposed to do?" Daniel asked chagrined.

"Good point." Jack conceded, "Still."

"It was interesting."

"How so?"

"You never get to see the rescue side of things when it's you who's missing."

"That would be because you're MISSING Daniel." Jack stretched out the word as if talking to a very small child. "Something of a habit for you that you should really do something about, I do not want to look like General Hammond in two years!"

"For the last time, it is not my fault your hair is grey Jack and you know what I mean. I saw how worried you all were, heard you talk about finding me. It was nice actually."

"Oh?"

"I was in General Hammond's office when you were convincing him to let Nick into the mountain. Thank you for that by the way." Jack nodded. "You'd just left and the General got a call."

"His granddaughter." Jack remembered that being a convincing factor in determining Nick was telling the truth about being able to see Daniel when the rest of them couldn't.

"He told her he couldn't see her play because a very dear friend was missing and needed his help." Daniel spoke shyly like he almost couldn't believe it.

"George thinks a lot of you Daniel, we all do."

"The stupid thing is I actually felt really sad."

Jack threw a questioning look at Daniel not understanding how the General calling him a friend could make him sad.

"Nick found the skull when I was five and it consumed most of his life." Daniel shrugged, it really was no big deal, he didn't need anyone, why would he? He took care of himself just fine. Dependency wasn't attractive. Daniel fleetingly wondered how much longer he could possibly continue lying to himself, but that thought was squashed fairly quickly. The potential fallout was not something he thought he'd be able to deal with, especially at the moment.

The light bulb blinked to life inside Jack's mind. Daniel had never had a relationship with Nick like that, and the fact that the General treats him more like his own kid than his grandfather ever did must really hurt.

"Which actually brings up another question." Jack turned to look at Daniel, checking he was emotionally stable to answer. "How come, if you had a grandfather, you went into care in the first place?"

Daniel looked decidedly sick and paled considerably by the question. Jack was about to apologise and tell him to forget it when Daniel started talking.

"Nick wouldn't adopt me, and he didn't let anyone else do so either. He left me in New York just after the funeral, and returned to Central America. I didn't see him again until I visited him in the institution."

"That sounds..."

"Harsh? I got over it. I don't think it was just work. I'm sure having a constant reminder of dead daughter wasn't something he liked to have around."

Jack wanted to say something, anything. Unfortunately there wasn't a lot too say and Jack knew Daniel was the one who had to live with it.

"He did apologise you know, back in the mountain, I went to see him, that's when we worked out he could actually see me."

"What did he say?" Jack asked. Forcing himself to loosen the grip he had on his steering wheel.

"That he was sorry for not adopting me and it wasn't my fault."

"What did you say?" It didn't sound like much of an apology to Jack but he guessed he probably had to have been there.

Daniel thought back for a minute. "Guess I didn't really say much, just sort of brushed it off. No big deal, it was years ago, that sort of thing."

"You ever really forgive him?"

"I guess I understood."

"But do you forgive him?"

"I'm not sure. I used to wonder what I'd have done in his place. Like maybe it's in the genes - work before all else. My parents, from what I remember of them were all right. I had a nanny; she was sick the day they died, which is why I was there. Ironic isn't it? One of the rare occasions I got to spend with my parents and they die right in front of me."

There was no way Jack could respond to that. Daniel had gone silent, resorting to hiding in the corner like he couldn't believe what he'd just said. Jack saw Daniel close his eyes and he leaned over to pat his knee, letting him know it was okay to vent once in a while.

Jack stopped at a red light and looked over at Daniel again, he was fast asleep. They were coming up to Daniel's turning, but he drove straight passed deciding he didn't want to have to wake Daniel and couldn't trust him to be able to get up eight flights of stairs if the lift was broke again.

Jack pulled into his drive and tried to wake Daniel with little success. Jack shook him a second time and two bottles of pills fell out of his pocket. Picking up the bottles and examining the labels Jack realised Janet had prescribed sleeping pills as well as the normal vitamins she dished out to Daniel like candy. Daniel, as usual, hadn't read the instructions and must have taken them all together before leaving the mountain. This explained Daniel's rather loose lips, he was probably so doped up he'd never even remember talking about Nick come morning.

Since there was no way Daniel was moving anywhere under his own steam tonight Jack made a command decision, he climbed out and went around to the passenger side door. Hooking one arm around Daniel's shoulders and the other under his knees, Jack lifted Daniel out of the truck and threw him over his shoulder before carrying him straight into the house.

*

"Feel any better?" Jack wandered into the room when he heard the startled groan and
accompanying grunts. He'd had very little sleep last night, having spent the majority of it on his couch.

"Where am I?" Daniel asked, keeping his calm on the outside while concealing a mild panic attack on the inside.

The only clue Jack had to Daniel's state of mind was his voice, and the repeated blinking, but it was enough. "It's alright Daniel," Jack teased, smiling as he said it. "You, very foolishly I might add, tossed back a boat load of sleeping pills you shouldn't have."

"And?" Daniel, eyes firmly shut and apparently staying there said through gritted teeth.

"And I'm assuming knocking yourself out for the count isn't the only side effect." Jack snapped back.

Daniel sighed, took in a deep breath and relaxed into the nice soft, spongy surface he could only presume was a bed. Daniel removed his hands from his face and opened one squinted eye at Jack.

"It's my bed." Jack comforted mind reading as always.

"Why am I in your bed?" His voice was weak, sounded so goddamn pathetic Daniel wanted nothing more than to haul the covers over his face and start the morning all over again. If it was morning that is. The panic rose again, when Daniel realised he didn't even know the day let alone time.

"Because Daniel," Jack started agitated, "like I said; you took too many pills, passed out in my truck - that I had to carry you out of by the way - and I'm a chivalrous kind of guy. It's Tuesday, a little after ten and you're late for an appointment with Janet."

"Oh shhhit-"

"Don't-" Jack fall-stalled further outbursts with a single finger "-worry. I called, covered your ass as always. She thinks you had a restless night and agreed to see you later."

Daniel smiled dopily at him, "thanks Jack."

"S'okay." Jack smiled back. Silence fell between them and Jack took the moment to assess. Daniel hadn't mentioned anything yet about what they spoke of last night. Jack was pretty confident, what with the pills and all, Daniel wouldn't remember anything. Maybe it's for the best, he conceded. Deciding not to say anything too, Jack figured there really was no need for Daniel to expose himself to the pain of abandonment all over again. He'd get passed it, and life would go on. There wasn't much that could keep Daniel down for long. "Still tired?"

Daniel opened closed eyes and stared at him. "Confused. A little dizzy."

"Understandable." Jack agreed happily.

"I should get up." Daniel said with no enthusiasm whatsoever.

Jack jumped on the bed and lay down next to him, arms supporting his head, staring resolutely at the ceiling.

"You going to be okay?" Yeah, Jack didn't believe any of his own spiel.

Daniel didn't get over things; he tucked them away, where no one would be able to pick at them. Outwardly he was almost always happy, always ready to help and committed to the truth.

That was Daniel.

But on the inside... Hoo boy. Chaos, confusion and self-recrimination were all running rampant beneath the surface. Never had Jack known someone so disillusioned about his own emotions. A neglectful grandfather was only one small seed in a field full of disappointments and disasters.

"Nick's gone. He's not coming back." Daniel said monotone.

"What makes you say that?" Jack asked, trying to sound innocent, even though he knew it too.

"He's my grandfather." Daniel said simply, moving onto his side, facing Jack.

Jack sat up and lent against the headboard, looking down on Daniel. He sighed, his need to be protector and using his patented cruel to be kind philosophy was warring with his want to make his friend feel better about himself.

Jack's phone rang and he answered with the handset next to the bed.

Daniel listened with half an ear, watching Jack through his partial vision as he lay on Jack's bed, one eye covered by the duvet, the pills that had as yet to leave his system made him dazed. So dazed in fact that until Jack actually hit him with the receiver, Daniel hadn't a clue he was being spoken to.

"What?"

"It's for you."

Daniel clumsily took the phone and held it to his left ear. "Hello?"

It was Sam.

Jack took his turn to listen, only he wasn't pumped full of downers and thus was able to follow the conversation nicely. Daniel said a quiet, half-asleep goodbye, and handed the phone back to Jack. Making himself more comfortable on the very comfy bed Daniel yawned and closed his eyes.

"What'd she say?" Jack asked softly.

"She loves me." Daniel announced happily. "In a family way of course."

Jack laughed, as if he'd thought of it any other way. He looked down, waiting until Daniel's breathing evened and his eyes remained shut.

"Don't we all Daniel, don't we all." Removing one hand from behind his head, Jack rested it on Daniel's as he slept.

Fin.

 

 

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Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. This is a parody for entertainment purposes only. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted anywhere without the consent of the author.