Blame it on the Voodoo



“What do you mean you can’t just let him go? You ALREADY let him go.”
Jack was standing in Mackenzie’s office. It was a cold lifeless room that sucked the sane right out of all those who entered. He had tried on the persona of indifference while he gazed at the array of certificates covering a third of one off-white and otherwise blank wall. It didn’t matter how many medical degrees the man had, whether the blond on the desk, pictured with the basset hound was his wife, sister, mistress or dog walker. He really didn’t care if the guy liked art or rock music, none of it mattered to Jack. This man was an ass.
Mackenzie waited a beat and then replied calmly, “I allowed Daniel to leave the hospital under supervision due to the circumstances surrounding Teal’c’s illness and the change I had noted in his behaviour.”
Jack turned around and flapped his arms. “Well isn’t that what I just said!”
“Colonel O’Neill,” Mackenzie leaned forward in his chair and steepled his fingers, “I cannot, in good conscience, discharge Dr. Jackson from my service after a diagnosis as serious as Schizophrenia.”
“But he never was Schizo! Dr. Fraiser has confirmed that.”
“Dr. Fraiser has reported all of Daniel’s tests to be within normal parameters.” Mackenzie corrected studiously.
Jack relaxed his balled fists and then flexed them to let the blood flow back to his fingers. “Okay, so what exactly is it you’re suggesting? You think Daniel’s still sick? Come on, what?”
Mackenzie studied Jack’s demeanour and, being of above average intelligence, he should have chosen his next words very carefully, only his ego forced him into his usual brand of condescension. “Daniel has shown great improvement. With the most recent tests I’ve conducted, along with my session, I am confident his illness was not Schizophrenia, but an Alien organism that merely presented the same symptoms.”
“So he can go.” Jack said again for the record, since they had already established these facts.
Jack growled. He knew he had it in him to break this pansy’s neck in five moves or less and he felt he had the right incentive to do it. He’d claim insanity at the trial then at least Daniel would have some familiar company.
Mackenzie carried on talking unaware of Jack’s homicidal instincts. “The problem I’m faced with now is Daniel’s future mental health. I’m willing to release him from the hospital, but I cannot, in good conscience, discharge Dr Jackson from my service even though a relapse is unlikely.” He looked away for a moment to reach for the relevant paper work. “I’m recommending regular sessions for the first month, I’ll review his case in six months, and if all appears well Dr Jackson will be discharged.”
Mackenzie handed Jack the sheaves of paper he’d gathered from his desk.
“What’s this?” Jack waved the paper back at him.
“Form’s for you to sign so Daniel can leave the hospital.” Mackenzie actually smiled.
Jack was distracted at first by the smile, and then looked blankly back at him. “What?”
“A Guardian is required for any patient leaving the hospital under such conditions. Someone who can monitor the patient and has the responsibility to return said patient to our care for assessment if there is sufficient cause for concern.” Yadda, yadda, so on and so fourth were the only words missing.
“A Guardian.” Jack repeated to try out the word.
“If there’s a problem Colonel you can recommend someone else. Guardianship is a big responsibility. Dr. Fraiser was the one who recommended you –”
“No problem.” Jack interrupted. Of course he’d do it. Of course Doc would recommend him to be Daniel’s Guardian and not tell him about it.
“Good.” Mackenzie gave one of his phoney ‘I think you’re nuts, I just can’t prove it’ smiles.
Jack sat down for the first time since he’d arrived and leaned forward on the desk, searching for a pen. Mackenzie had gotten up and walked over to the door. Jack put all his concentration into putting pen to paper.
Daniel looked up sharply. He’d been sitting in the waiting room of Mackenzie’s office for over an hour with nothing to do but stare at the stack of dated magazines lying around. They did nothing for a Doctor of Linguistics and Anthropology.
“We’re ready for you.” Mackenzie left the door open for him, and once Daniel had made it into the too familiar room he was already sitting behind the large oak desk.
Jack was sitting too, head down, reading something that looked official. Daniel glanced over and Jack looked up, gave him a crooked smile. Daniel took that to mean everything would be okay, and shut the door behind him.
Eight Months Later
Tap, tap, tap…
“Stop it.” Jack lashed his hand out, pinned the pencil to the coffee table and counted to ten before he released it and Daniel’s hand holding it.
“Well forgive me for being a little nervous.” Daniel pushed back and slouched down on the waiting room couch.
The damn magazines hadn’t changed. The green couch had aged, and the walls were still beige. On the occasions, too numerous to mention, that he’d been here Daniel had wondered every time why the military couldn’t put just a little money into making the place a bit more hospitable.
“There’s nothing to be nervous about. You’ll pass with flying colours, just watch.” Jack said without even taking his eyes away from one of the aforementioned outdated and dog-eared magazines.
Daniel slumped back even further so he was part lying down and put a cushion over his face. “I remember you telling me that two months ago.”
“I lied then. I’m not lying now.” Jack tossed the magazine aside and snatched the up the cushion.
After a rather intense staring match Daniel gave up first with a droll, “Oh please.”
“Shit, Daniel, it’s not like this is something I wanted.”
Daniel blinked a few times and stared past Jack at the ceiling. “Yeah, I know. It’s my own fault.”
“DON’T put words in my mouth.” Jack poked him.
Daniel looked contrite, that wasn’t what he meant. “I’m not. I didn’t exactly give you a lot of options considering.”
“Telling Mackenzie to get you a different Guardian because, and I quote; Jack doesn’t believe that my wife sent me a telepathic message to save her son while the Gould she was host to tried to kill me, was not one of your brightest moments.” Mackenzie had sat behind his desk, all ready to get the commitment papers out of his desk drawer. He could laugh now, but not then, back then he’d felt like committing himself and relieving himself of a little responsibility that, by all rights, shouldn’t be his.
“I was right though.” Daniel sighed, noncommittally.
Jack refrained from answering, and as he should have learned from Sara all those years, silence was the worst answer a guy could give.
“I was right. We found the Harsesis!” Daniel sat up ready to defend himself yet again.
Jack looked at his friend, a little indignant. He hadn’t said anything yet, but this obsession with the kid was a cause for concern. “I said yes didn’t I?”
“You made an hmmm sound.”
Jack glared and waited for Daniel to concede, but he didn’t and for once Jack was the one willing to let it go. He leaned back on the couch and began his own examination of the ceiling tiles. Now was not the time to get wound up. Today was Daniel’s second review, if all went well Daniel would be off Mackenzie’s books and Jack would go back to just being his friend. Not that Jack could see much difference between friend and Guardian, mind you.
“We found the Harsesis.” Jack admitted, simply because Daniel needed to hear it.
“I don’t believe it helped confirm my sanity when I started a fire in Sam’s lab and claimed the Voodoo Gods of PYA 465 made me do it.” He sensed Jack looking at him oddly. “You were shacked up with Laira at the time.”
“Shacked up? I was trapped on that rock for three months all because of you and your inability to keep your mouth shut.” Jack needed to examine his own inability of keeping it shut.
“My inability to do what?”
“If you hadn’t gone off about how their ancestors survived in the caves then those kids wouldn’t have wandered off.”
“I guess I had the whole ‘no foundation’ speech coming then. My fault too I presume.” Daniel said testily. Shoving hard and turning his back on Jack as much as was possible while sharing the couch.
“Crap Daniel,” Jack huffed, taking the hit like a man who deserved to feel pain. And boy did he deserve it for that comment.
Jack remained silent, believing it to be the best course of action for all involved. They were both on edge and upset, so much crap had happened to them over the course of the eight months since Daniel’s encounter with Machello’s Gould killers it was no wonder nerves were on edge. Daniel’s shoulder blade was digging into his side, but Jack sat still until he felt Daniel’s body relax a little. Knowing as he did that the anger Daniel currently displayed towards him was a mix of irritation and frustration with the whole Schizophrenia issue.
“I’m sorry.” A sombre voice said eventually.
“For what?”
Same words, Jack noted and wondered where this was leading.
“For everything.”
“Everything eh? That’s a lot to be sorry about.” Jack kept staring at the wall in front of him. Daniel studied the mahogany coffee table with its horde of out of date glossy pages.
“You go through a lot with me and there must be days when you wonder if I’m worth the trouble.”
“Not had one yet, but there’s still time.” Jack lied through his teeth.
“I missed you when you were trapped on Edora. Did some crazy things.”
“Crazier than blaming voodoo for a lab accident?”
“Way crazier.” Daniel grinned, for a rare moment feeling content with life, the universe and everything.
“Good thing my fake retirement didn’t last too long, you might have cursed the entire SGC and burned it to the ground.” Daniel shifted and once again took up a slouching position; the fidgeting a symptom of his nervous disposition. “I guess that came at a really shitty time, huh?”
“Oh you could say that.” Daniel agreed readily. “Dead wife, almost affair with destroyer of worlds narrowly averted, you just rescued from three months exile… Timing could definitely have been better.”
“You still came to see me off though, even after I’d torn you a new one.”
Daniel crossed his arms and shook his head. “No I didn’t.”
“Daniel, give it up, I know you were in the control room.”
“Yeah, well, I just wanted to make sure you were off the planet – for good - closure and all that.”
Jack overlooked the defensive posturing, something Jack always saw fit to ignore. “I’m sorry I said… what I said to you-”
“Can we NOT do this now?”
Jack lowered his gaze and picked up another magazine. “Sure.”
“Dr. Jackson.” Mackenzie opened his door and returned into his office, letting Daniel make his way in his own time – as always.
Jack and Daniel turned simultaneously, looking over the back of the worn green couch. Jack eyed the open door with something of trepidation, while all Daniel saw was the gateway to regaining his mental freedom.
“You ready?” Jack nudged him, eyebrows raised in a question.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Daniel stood up and smoothed down the front of his shirt.
“Let’s get this show on the road.” Jack slapped his magazine down on the coffee table and led the way, once at the door he turned and found Daniel wasn’t following. “You alright?”
Daniel grimaced, and tried to forget about the burning sensation just above his hip, putting it down to nerves. He felt better if he kept his hand pressed into his side. Daniel nodded and hobbled his way over. “Must be something I ate, I’ll be fine.”
“Good, soon as we’re done I’m taking you fishing, you need to relax,” Jack said as Daniel passed him by to sit opposite Mackenzie and Jack shut the door firmly and followed.


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  Hawk50 Nancy Bailey Carrie AnnO  
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Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. This is a parody for entertainment purposes only. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted anywhere without the consent of the author.