Big Trouble In Little Colorado Springs

Nine o'clock post meridian was his preferred time to prowl. He couldn't say why, exactly, just that that was when his craving usually kicked in. He'd done it during the afternoon, and even the morning, but there was something about the nine o'clock hour that was just perfect. If he waited any later, he wouldn't be able to get a decent night's sleep. His life, it was so complicated. Cunningly maneuvering through the dimly lit space, he plotted his every future move. A game of chess in his mind, ready to be executed.
Inching forward, he became one with the wall. It was not a feat attainable by mere footsoldiers, this meshing of oneself with the surroundings. He blended, chameleon-like, in any given setting, which made him a powerful adversary indeed. He was a master of his trade. Narrowing his eyes, he looked upon his target. A small part of him felt a pang of regret for his intended victim, a larger part felt only the thrill of the hunt. Crouching down, he skulked another several steps and struggled to remain in the shadows.
Nearing his destination without a hint of sound was proving a greater challenge tonight than usual. His victim was not alone, but was accompanied by a warrior of great skill in his own right. He was nervous that his mission would be unsuccessful or, worse, that the other warrior would become injured in the attack. Extra care had to be given, this knowledge increasing his tension and his excitement. The larger the challenge, the better he could advance his expertise. Squinting against the relative brightness of the room, he realized his internal calculations would have to be adjusted. He cursed to himself, damning the obstacle unexpectedly in his path.
Just as well. Life was not known for providing the same scenario over and over again, this should not be any different. He always managed to do the very best with what resources were provided. His mind was as fast as his feet, as it had to be for survival. He moved back a step, to reassess the scene before him. Oblivious to it all, the other warrior hummed a discordant tune under his breath. He smiled, for this distraction would be the victim's undoing.
Arching his back, he stretched in preparation for the kill. Limber muscles were his biggest asset at this point. Eyes roaming over the victim, he started to salivate with anticipation. No matter how many times he went in for the kill, a certain excited buzz ran through his veins just moments before he launched the attack. Only twice had his excitement gotten in the way of his conquest, and he had found ways to gain satisfaction in different ways.
Danger sizzled in the air all around him, but he took the chance and leaned out into the brightness to get an even better view of the layout. The obstacle he thought would prove troublesome had been moved. He smiled. The warrior turned, forcing him back against the wall with a barely audible thump. For seconds he stayed, frozen in place, not daring to move for fear he had alerted the other warrior.
After due time had passed, he tentatively inched forward. Here in the shadows, his talent was without reproach but the slight misstep had him concerned. An already complicated mission rarely survived if something went drastically wrong. In his mind, he calculated options for what to do should he fail here tonight. No, no, he could not let doubt plant its vicious seed within him, for once it took root he would be doomed. He was a fierce fighter. He would not fail. He dared one more step, and a peek out into the open once more. His actions went unnoticed and he became self-assured. Success was at his doorstep.
Never one, though, to take things too seriously, he paused for a moment to enjoy the warrior interact with the prey. It was sadistic of him to take such pleasure in the knowledge he would soon be responsible for parting two happy companions, but he could not contain the bloodlust roiling through him. He wanted to laugh, cackle his victory before he had even achieved it. This was a dangerous game he was playing, he knew, and he sobered back to the solemn stealth still needed to carry him through the remainder of his operation. Still, the joyous smile on the other warrior's face was too charming for words.
Indecision sneaked up inside him. For the first time since embarking on this mission, he was uncertain whether or not he was in the right. His body yearned to go for the kill, but his mind and heart did not want to hurt the warrior. He stared at his quarry, as if it could give him an acceptable answer. He heard the clink of metal on metal, followed by a cold, sucking sound. Feet shuffled from within the room ahead of him. A door creaked. The warrior was not within his field of vision.
Everything about this moment in time screamed for him to take action, and take it without remorse. Struggling to stamp down on the feeling part of him, he jumped into the doorway on the balls of his feet. He padded forward, dismayed to hear a soft shirrup sound from the contact of worn leather on tile. He halted, watching the warrior's shoulders stiffen in acknowledgement that he and his nighttime companion were no longer alone in the room. He could only watch as the warrior turned around to face him, a smile on his face. For a flash, he forgot the goal for the entire evening. The hesitation did not last long.
Leaping forward, he twisted acrobatically and landed within inches of his victim. He cried out an impressive "Hi-yah!" before snatching his prey and tearing into it with untamed pleasure. He kept one eye on the only remaining occupant of the room.
"!" The warrior knit his eyebrows, apparently stupefied by the magnificent effort he'd just witnessed. It wasn't long before he found his voice, though. "For crying out loud, Daniel, I've told you a million times that ninjas don't shout 'hi-yah' and if you wanted a sandwich so much, why didn't you just ask?"
The End

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Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. This is a parody for entertainment purposes only. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted anywhere without the consent of the author.