Fight the Good Light

Oh, great, you're coding. I suppose now *they're* expecting me to carry you all the way up the ramp through the Stargate. Why couldn't they be happy with me simply rolling you up on the gurney??
Crap. Fine, I'll carry you, but I'm not happy about it. I'm way too old for--ugh! Geez, Daniel, you may look skinny, but you sure as hell aren't...
OK, made it through. I'll just set you down and be all done. You'll start breathing on your own, I won't have to--whoa! Going down with you. Ooh, watch the head! *They'd* kill me if I let it thwack on the floor.
Was that a collective 'Awwww!' I just heard in the distance? Damn, I'm playing right into their hands. C'mon Daniel, work with me! Don't make me resuscitate you. Come on! Please!!
What do they want from me? You gotta admit, I was awesome on the balcony. Just the right mix of fear, concern and caution. Rubbing your shoulder was a spur of the moment decision. It was a nice touch, I have to admit. Rather proud of it.
And the infirmary!! I angsted my ass of for them! So it was chemically, hormonally or whateverly enhanced. I still felt it. I gave it my all. Yet *they're* not satisfied.
But this? Uh uh. Nope. Sorry, Daniel. I've done all I can do this particular go around. Damnit, where are Carter and Teal'c? Carter'll resuscitate you; you're obviously being stubborn.
Oh, good, a distraction. I'll yell at the kid to demonstrate my agitation at possibly losing you. Then maybe *they'll* forget about the mouth to mouth thing. CPR is overrated. I'll throw in a quick 'that was very painful but necessary' look as a bonus.
Help me out here, Daniel! We can't let them win.
What's that? Oh, excellent gurgling. Thank God! That was a close one.
Those crazy ladies on the hurt/comfort list would have had a field day if I revived you properly. I have my limits. This round goes to Jack O'Neill.
Better luck next time, ladies.
The End

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  Hawk50 Nancy Bailey Carrie AnnO  
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Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. This is a parody for entertainment purposes only. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted anywhere without the consent of the author.