Three’s Company
By Eilidh

“Crap, who put this hole here?”  Walking along minding my own business, looking for a place to do my business, and this hole leaps out in front of me and down I go. 

No radio, I was only going fifty feet.

No rope, see last comment.

No water, ditto.

I do have toilet paper though… bonus!


Ah, the cavalry has arrived.  “Down here, Carter, watch out for the-”



“Hole.  You okay there, Carter?”

“Peachy sir, you?”

“Other than being trapped in a hole, I’m good.”

“I think we need to find a way out of here?”

“Really?” Do’h!  I’ve threatened to demote her down to Captain Obvious before but I think I mean it this time.  “You know, Carter, I didn’t think of that.  Not once.”

“Sorry, sir.”

“Forget it.  Try your radio.”

“On my vest.”

“And your vest is?”

“Back at the camp.”

Deja vu.

“Teal’c or Daniel will be here soon, sir.”


“Colonel O’Neill, Major Carter!”

Ah, Teal’c.  Gotta love the man and his sense of timing.

“Over here, mind the hole!”

“What hole would…?” 


“… That be?”

Sigh.  “This one.”

“Indeed, this hole is of a most curious design.”

“What?”  So help me, I have to say it.  Trying to show some restraint.  Will_not_humor_the_Jaffa. “Because its round?”  AHH I said it! Zat me now.


“Let me guess.  You don’t have a radio and that isn’t rope bulging in your pocket?”

“You are observant, O’Neill.”



“How are we going to get out of here?”

“Well, there’s always Daniel.”

Carter snickers behind her hand.

Teal’c twitches an eyebrow in a Groucho Marks kinda way.

And I ponder my naval.

“Rescue does seem unlikely.”  What?  He’s only saying what we’re all thinking.

“Jack, Sam, Teal’c?”

“Daniel!”  Carter yells out.

“Daniel Jackson.”  No guess for that being Teal’c.

“Watch out for the hole!”  What? Why is everyone looking at me like I don’t know the guys’ name?  He’ll be down here in a few moments anyway; we can get down to the mutual respect session then.

“Hey, guys.”  Daniel waves at us from the edge of our hole. “Is this a private party?”

“Smart ass,” I sneer knowing I’m going to get my revenge on the next question.  “You got rope on you?”


You’ve got to be kidding me!  Why would he carry rope on him?  I mean, seriously, why?

“Because I’m an archeologist, Jack.  We’re always prepared.”

Did I say that out loud?

“As in girl guides, prepared?”  I quip back.

“No, as in ‘do you want to get out of there’ prepared.”

So, Daniel secures the rope to a tree and snakes it down the hole, but there’s just a few things I need to know before I climb my way out.  “You got your radio with you?”

“Well, yeah.”


“A full canteen.”

Okay, but what about the clincher.  “Toilet paper?”

“Ah, no, I don’t, it’s back in camp.”

Yes!  I win.

I’m so shallow sometimes.

The end

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